The Witch Hunt of UK mothers
November 30,
2006
My Mum’s Innocent
Take a Break
Magazine
As a baby, she was snatched
unjustly from her mother's arms. Now this 17-year-old
schoolgirl has found
her mum, and together they are fighting to end such secret scandals.
It's an astonishing story
Seventeen
years ago Yvonne Coulter's baby daughter fell while playing in her baby
bouncer. She bruised her cheek. A neighbour noticed and told the
authorities. A social worker visited and took the child into care.
It was the beginning of a grave injustice.
Over the next three years it was proved beyond doubt that Yvonne Coulter was
a good and loving mother whose child should be handed back to her. But by
the time the case wound through the courts, it was deemed to be too late.
The judge who heard her pleas told hen 'Miss Coulter, if I return your
daughter home to you, you will be a stranger to her.'
And so her little girl was sent off for adoption. Just like that.
Yvonne was left utterly devastated. She had done nothing to deserve this,
yet she had no right of appeal.
It is an astonishing tale. For her it was like something that happens in a
police state. And, despite their errors, the culprits were repeatedly
protected by secrecy laws.
Indeed, when Yvonne told her story in ‘Take a Break’ 27 months ago, she had
to do so anonymously.
But since that time something amazing has happened.
Out of the blue, her long-lost daughter tracked her down. They met and this
year they are about to spend their first Christmas together. More than that,
17-year-old Tammy is joining with her mother to lift the veil that has long
concealed these appalling and unfair decisions.
Recently, despite her youth, she addressed child and healthcare
professionals at a conference called Opening up the Family Courts. She
wanted to make them realise that mums and babies were not just faceless
statistics. It was an important speech. When she'd finished, there was
hardly a dry eye in the house.
This
is what Tammy told them...
I was taken from my mum nearly 17 years ago on a false allegation, I was
seven months old and sitting in my bouncing chair, my mum had gone into the
kitchen to make me a night feed.
I was happily playing with an activity toy, which I dropped on the floor;
I leant forward to reach the toy but the chair followed me arid tipped
forward falling on top of me. I sustained a bruise on my cheek. And that's
where my life was changed forever.
My case was heard within the family court in the years 1989 which lasted all
the way to 1992. I was placed with a set of foster carers whom I stayed with
for 13 months.
Then one-day social services accused the foster carers of suffering from
depression and removed me from their care! I was then placed with three lots
of emergency foster carers before being placed with my pre adopters, who
then became my parents.
While this was happening to me my mum gave birth to my brother Cameron. One
minute after his birth social services (a male) walked into the labour suite
and tried to hand a place and safety order in writing to my mum who was laid
on the bed with no clothes on and she had not even delivered the placenta.
Medical staff asked the social worker to leave on three occasions eventually
the social worker left the labour suite, leaving my mum very distressed and
losing all her dignity.
My mum and Cameron went home to my grandparents where they resided until the
28th of December 1990. My mum then went to the family court as social
services were trying for an interim care order to remove my brother from her
care. My mum fought and won full parental rights of Cameron and no further
action was taken.
All my mum wanted was to fight for me, she attended many family courts,
which were held in secret and she was not allowed to talk about our case or
me to anyone.
Time passed and Cameron reached the age of 21 months old, when the social
services actually reached a date for my freeing order, which was in the year
of 1992; there were no concerns to Cameron's welfare. She was an excellent
mother to him.
The judge who heard my case made his decision on the basis that social
services had delayed my case for over two and a half years. On reading his
decision to my mum (he stated) "Miss Coulter if I return your daughter home
to you, you will be a stranger to her" and on that decision I was freed for
adoption and my whole future was completely changed.
Finding out that you are adopted is one of the worst feelings in the world
because you feel that all your identity you have known of yourself is a lie;
for example your whole childhood and personality.
I found out through photos that my brother was still with my mum and is one
and a half years younger than me. This was very upsetting and left me
wondering why my mum wanted my brother and not me.
Left with these unanswered questions and feeling very confused; like I did
not belong anywhere I wanted to find the truth, and the answers to my
questions, the only person who could answer them was my mum.
My decision to find my birth family was not supported in the way in which I
would have liked from my adoptive parents. I went about looking for my mum
by first of all ringing support after adoption that told me I must wait
until I am 18 years of age and would not offer me any help or advice. Which
left me more confused and very upset?
In January this year on a Thursday night I received a phone call from my
best friend. She told me to go over to her house, as it was very important.
I had no idea of what I was to be told. Her laptop was placed on her bed and
she told me to read the posting. I was ecstatic as I read the information,
which confirmed that my mum was looking for me as much as I was looking for
her.
My friend who knew as much as I did about my adoption found the posting when
secretly putting my name on GENES REUNITED. I found myself emailing her my
mobile number as I knew the same information which was written in her
posting; which included information that nobody would have known about me. I
waited three and a half hours for the phone call which would change my whole
life, and answer all the unanswered questions which had been tormenting me
since the age of about 11 when I moved to Comprehensive School where I met
many other adopted and fostered children.
Waiting for the phone call was the most exciting and precious time of my
life, the hours seemed like weeks. In the next breath I was actually talking
to my mum on the phone, we spoke for an hour about everything that we could.
We put the phone down and later that evening I rang my mum back and told her
I know it was short notice but could we please meet the following morning
and she agreed to.
Our meeting was very emotional for the both of us, neither of us spoke we
just put our arms around each other and cried together, we held each other
very tight and I cant explain how happy I felt.
[Tammy then explains that this led to conflict with her adoptive parents,
which ended with her moving in with her birth mother.]
This brings me to why I am here today, I was a child who was wrongfully
removed from the care of my mother and most of all I have had the rights
taken away from me to have enjoyed the right to a family life with my
natural family.
I am publicly speaking today on behalf of children and parents who have also
been through the secrecy of family courts and the injustices that have taken
place - and do still take place – in order to describe the devastation that
can be caused to a whole family.
Since I have moved in with my birth family I see the relationship between my
mother, brother and sister and cannot help feeling that I have missed out,
no matter how much I fit in now.
We have all bonded very well, I now feel as if I fit in somewhere and feel I
can be myself as I have found out who I really am and that my mum never did
anything wrong.
Over the years my mum has been fighting to prove her innocence.
An injustice has taken place. I am very angry and also upset that my mum was
treated like a criminal and punished for life on something that she never
did - and had the right to a family life taken away.
I feel confused, hurt, stripped of my identity, exhausted through lies.
I know I am not the only person to have gone through the hell of secrecy in
family courts and hope I have expressed the way in which those others will
feel — and are feeling — at my age.
Tammy, despite her youth, then went on to propose a number of r changes to
the law on such adoptions, including:
• Sounder medical evidence
• A more factual approach by social services
• Independent monitoring of decisions
• The removal of a child to be the last resort
She added: 'My mum was told that she would be a stranger to me if I were
returned home to her. However, my foster parents and my adoptive parents
were also strangers.
The most important factor is the secrecy surrounding the family courts and
why they should be opened. I am of an age where I can talk about the
detrimental effects.
Many of the children who have been taken in the past — and a still being
taken — do not have a voice.
'So please take into account that we are all human and we have feelings, and
the way in which the courts have been working up this day has been inhumane
in many cases.
The emotional effects on children torn apart from their birth families can
last a lifetime.'
[Tammy was addressing child and healthcare professionals at a conference
called Opening up the Family Courts, held in London. She was joined on the
platform by Government minister Harriet Harman, who endorsed much of what
she said.
Tammy is now living with her mother in Ironville, Derbyshire.]
Edited by Sara Ward. E-mail
tab.sara@bauer.co.uk
